The Edge of Never by J.A. Redmerski

the-edge-of-never-book-J.A. RedmerskiI don’t have enough words to say how brilliant this book is, and how many emotions it put me trough. The truth is that the story is so damn good that just drags you in, to the point that you just can’t free yourself from continue going through the pages, until you reach the very last one.

I didn’t really know at the beginning what this book was about. But I was gladly, to put it simply, surprised. I loved every word of it. I felt the exact same emotions that Cam and Andrew were feeling. It felt like if I was literally with them the whole journey. I found myself living through the pages, in a hell of an emotional ride. I laugh, loved, dreamed, learnt but I also cried, like, hard cried.

It is safe to say that I’m definitely in love with Andrew Parrish. All the time while reading I was wondering about where the hell can I found someone of his kind. I seriously even considered to go traveling by bus ‘till I find my own Andrew. Okay, I don’t really mean that. But if I could, I would. Men like him are rare to find, I dare to say almost and most likely impossible. He is how perfection would be translated into this world. He has his flaws, like every other human being, but those ones just make him more desirable. I also really liked Camryn. I never thought that I could find in books all these strong and interesting women, but I’m glad that I keep finding them. I can’t think of many occasions where I disagreed with the decisions that she was making. Maybe while first talking to Andrew I wouldn’t be as annoying as she was, but I think that reaction is the normal thing to have with a stranger you just have met. Anyway, I think she is wonderful. Despite she has gone through a lot, she just refuses to continue living on her comfort zone and go following her dreams, even if she isn’t so sure about what they are.

One of the many reasons why this book really touched my soul was the be-who-you-are-not-who-the-world-wants-you-to-be topic. In this world, it’s so easy to get caught in the routine, and to live through the standards that the society has defined. School, college, and work ‘till your too old to do the things that you want to. But it is also so hard to escape from something like that, especially if you don’t have the resources to do it. You just can’t go around with I-work-for-food kind of posters. And still, working doesn’t have to be bad. Not if you still can do the things you love, like traveling, reading for fun, running, trekking, swimming, etc. Nonetheless, I still hope one day I’ll be able to go traveling for months. Although the sad part of it is, that I seriously doubt I find someone like Andrew on my way and that would want to go along with me.

Fuck what everybody else thinks. You’re living for you, not them.

Okay, now, going back to the story, I think it was very funny the how the two of them found each other. You wouldn’t think that something as insignificant as loud music could be the trigger for something as wonderful as their relationship, and I definitely didn’t imagine that it could grow something meaningful from it. But it is Andrew Parrish who we are talking about, and that changes everything. He is so thoughtful and caring. I was so moved by all the ways he tried to be around Camryn, even if she refused it at the beginning. I totally could understand why she didn’t want to continue her trip without him. He really got under her skin. I didn’t expect though that the psycho passenger would show up at the girl’s bathroom, although that’s the moment when Andrew started to win my entire heart.

The scene at the hospital really broke my heart. You could almost feel the pain that Andrew was feeling. Although I don’t understand why he didn’t tell his brothers that we woke up…I really don’t. In that moment I didn’t understand why he was leaving, but people grieve in different ways, and you can’t force them. I have to tell that I was so proud of how Cam acted around him. It truly spokes volumes of her.

Their road trip was perfect. I mean it. Starting with Andrew (did I mention that I love him?), he is THE perfect man. I love how he treats her, how he cares about her, the way she looks at her, the music and food he likes, the way he talks, how he looks with his tattoos, and I could keep going like that. Camryn also was so sweet to him, just like a kid starting to exploring and discovering things she didn’t know that she liked. It was not only a physical trip, but an emotional trip as well. While Andrew was running from his father and his illness (I’m going to get there at the end), Cam was escaping from the things that happened to her. Ian’s death, Christian’s cheating, her parent’s divorce, his brother being in jail and the whole Natalie’s situation. For me, Andrew was the key to her healing process. He taught her so many things, from simple actions like changing a tire, singing or looking straight to the rain. And by teaching her, he was also releasing from his own pains.

Just because one person’s problem is less traumatic than another’s doesn’t mean they’re required to hurt less.

Their first sexual encounter really surprised me. I know that Cam was starting to open up more to her feelings, but I didn’t actually think that she was going to do it. Though I was glad she did. I think that simple act started to grow the desire between them. It was so obvious that they wanted each other, but they had their very own reasons to do nothing about it. I think that the best part of their trip was New Orleans, where she finds out that he can sing beautifully (another point to him, I like musicians) and he defends her honor by punching another guy’s face. I love how protective he is her, I absolutely love it.

Nonetheless, was the same city where Andrew almost lefts Camryn completely alone. I can’t imagine how hard it is to find out that one of your parents is dead, but I couldn’t comprehend why he was acting like that with her. I was so pleased when she confronts him so he couldn’t leave. I think is not necessary to say that I was beyond happy when they finally accept their feelings and get together as a couple. I love how he pushes her boundaries to make her see was she is capable of. I am just as she was, and I would love to try doing things that I’m afraid of, but it is so hard to do them when you don’t have someone like him motivating you, lucky Camryn. Although I really hated when Andrew made Cam tell him what she wanted from him, it was so embarrassing!! But I can imagine how liberating that must have feel…

A woman who knows what she wants sexually, and isn’t afraid to express it is so fucking hot, Camryn- Tell. Me. What. You. Want. Or, I won’t give it to you.

Like all good things, their trip had to come to an end. What happened in Texas really shocked me, to say the very least. I was thrilled about Andrew owning Camryn and him being her partner in crime, but I knew that something was very bad when they visited Andrew’s mom. It totally caught me off guard what happened to him in the kitchen. I was shocked. Like, for real. I think I couldn’t close my mouth during the next thirty pages. I just couldn’t believe that something as awful as a brain tumor could be happening to a beautiful young man known as Andrew Parrish. I don’t want to even mention Camryn. Could be fate laughing on her face, by doing her live through her lover’s death all over again? I think it’s just too much. I wouldn’t want to believe what was going on. I wanted to think, just as she did, in all of the things that they could do afterwards, when they beat death, such as traveling the world, in the music they would hear and the tattoo that she was going to get. But all of that ended abruptly when he entered into a coma. And here comes the letter. I can’t think in anything more beautiful than the letter Andrew wrote to her. I re-read it like five times. It was life-changing. It had so many life advices, it literally broke my heart.

Just remember to always be yourself and don’t be afraid to speak your mind or to dream out loud.

But what happened next completely devastated me. When I started reading the next chapter, the first thing that caught my attention was the words gravestone and PARRISH together in the same sentence, and that’s the moment that I lost it. I couldn’t believe that he actually was dead. All I could think about when I was crying (yes, I was crying) was on my hate for unhappy endings, and poor poor Andrew. When I was ready to continue reading, I almost jump from happiness when I found out that he wasn’t death, and that they were visiting his father. It was the most amazing feeling that you could feel, that the character that you are currently in love with was still alive. All the rest was roses and flowers to me. The perfect end for a perfect story.

I think that if past lives are real then we have been lovers in every single one of them. I’ve known you for a short time, but I feel like I’ve known you forever.

The Edge of Never really blew me away. I’m still impressed by how amazing it is. It taught me so many things and affected me in a personal way. It is a heart-wrenching emotional love story, just the way I like it. After everything, it doesn’t surprises me that this goes to the top of my list, along with the best book boyfriend.

You were the missing piece of my soul, the breath in my lungs, and the blood in my veins.

I can’t wait to start reading the second part!!

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