Tear by Rachel Van Dyken (Seaside, #1)

tear I really loved Tear. And I’m deeply in love with Alec. However, I have to say that my feelings are mixed when it comes to how the story was developed. Let me explain. The main characters were delicious, and the story between them screams success. What can possibly be wrong when you have two gorgeous brothers that happened to be extremely famous and in love with the same small town girl? Everything!

Nat is the typical naïve girl, that has 18, never has kissed a boy and it doesn’t have allowed wearing any makeup. Not that she needs to. Despite what she thinks about herself, everyone else consider her to be beautiful. She lives in Seaside, a place that she is happy to escape from after the graduation finishes. Nothing interesting going on her life, except that this year, everything was about to change. Demetri and Alec are AD2, a very famous rock band that has everyone excited, not only because of their music, but mostly for them. They are incredibly handsome, with a god looking appearance that only famous people can pull off. For some reason, they arrive to the high school that she attends to, and most important, to her life. They become so quickly attracted to her, and this is the first thing that I don’t quite understand. What did she have, despite being their psychologist’s daughter that drags them so hard to her? I know, she is beautiful, sweet and special, like all the girls that aren’t easy, but why her? I just can’t get it. Anyway, they instantly become part of her routine, being Demetri the most talkative and easy going one that gets to her first. The problem was that she was not only attracted to him, but also to his brother, the mysterious one.

First of all, I have to say that it was too obvious that she had stronger feelings for Alec than the ones that she claimed to, except for her. Being in a relationship with Demetri had their explanations though. She had almost a non-existing relationship with their parents, and apparently, her need for attention was pretty big. He made her feel loving and cared, and you couldn’t blame her for that. Except that there was Alec. And trying to deny such strong feelings almost always ends up very wrong.

Why did I go for Demetri when I knew my heart belonged to Alec? Why did I drag both of them through this? I loved them both, I truly did.

I have to say that the first part of the book, the pre-homecoming one, was excellent. Everything went as delicious as expected. Nat’s attempt to make things work with Demetri. Her new life routine, with one of the two brothers always present. Being exposed to the public eye and fame, and to the eyes of everyone in the school, for that matter. The occasional interaction with their friends, Evan and Aleshaa, although we knew very little from them. Her first romantic encounter with Alec, and the persistent knowledge that something happened to them. Something very serious. We get to know more from Alec than Demetri. At least that was my impression; that may be biased due to my big attraction to him. He is really my type of guy. Every part of it. I love him. And I couldn’t blame him for trying to be good and loyal to his brother, despite not knowing his underneath reasons, that weren’t as simple as we thought. He was so sweet and caring. He paid attention to every detail, and took care of Nat when she needed to. Always saying beautiful things about her, and so incredible easygoing. He liked running and spending time with her. And on top of that, he was absolutely hot. Green eyes, dark hair, intense gaze, and a sculpt body to die for; my definition of a god. Not to mention the fact of being a rock star and having an amazing voice. I know I supposed to remember Demetri in some similar way, considering he was a sweet boyfriend that wanted to be good and needed the girl in order to do so; besides the fact of being gorgeous and a musician like his brother. But I just can’t. Maybe that’s why Nat couldn’t do it too.

Despite of all the things that happened, the most important one was the secret that remained untold. The big elephant in the room. Why they were there, why Alec was always defending his brother, why would he postponed himself in order to achieve his brother’s happiness. Too many whys and wherefores.

He’s my brother. It’s my job to protect him. Even if it’s from himself. You don’t understand. It’s complicated.

Nonetheless, we do get to know a part of their story. Alec was terribly affected by the death of his son and his one night stand. She was alcoholic, and it happened after getting out of rehab. But that wasn’t all, and no one wanted to fill Nat in. That’s when homecoming arrived. Demetri couldn’t make it because he had to travel. And despite the current situation between Alec and Nat, where they weren’t thinking or giving any credit to the way they felt about the other, they went together. The feelings for each other were absolutely evident, until all was overshadowed by Demetri’s surprise performance on stage. Nat was clearly happy, and decided to leave the party with him. That’s when things went weird. He had visibly consumed alcohol, and tried to force things with her. He started to say nonsense phrases about being the second, up until he had to leave again.

Now we finally get to the part of the book were things start getting blurry. After Demetri was gone again, rumors started to appear, along with photos of him kissing another woman. Despite Nat’s attempt to understand and continue sending nice messages, he remained silent. And here’s the reaction that no one was expecting. How could she just assume that they were over, if press is always creating and deforming things? How could she be so calm after the breakup when they never even had one in the first place? Her response was too unreal to believe. She supposedly loved him. How could you let it go so fast when you don’t even had a straight answer from him? It doesn’t feel right. And what’s worse is that in the meantime, she pretended that nothing happened, and spent whole days with Alec, like nothing ever happened between no one. Weird. And it wasn’t after Demetri just arrives when they finally accept their love and start being with each other. Just like that. Not that the chemistry didn’t exist, but it was too sudden, from being friends to lovers, to ignore each other to now love, to being with his brother and now with him. And it wasn’t a surprise then that Demetri lastly tells her the truth about Alec, which also involved him. It wasn’t nice and pretty. Actually, it was awful. In a few words, he drugged Demetri’s beloved girlfriend so he could prove that he could sleep with her, unlike his brother. That’s when she got pregnant with a child of him. He introduced her to drugs and a little after both died. It was very hard to believe that Demetri wasn’t like we first knew him before that situation. Than in fact, Alec was that way the whole time, and now their roles were reversed. It chocked me that Nat accepted him right away, despite knowing the truth. But at the same time, I really appreciated it. I was so expecting that she was going to reject him for what he did, but I was gladly surprised. I felt the same way about him. It was a different person back then, and you couldn’t judge him for that.

“Alec, look at me”. His gaze fluttered to mine. “What you did was messed up. I’m not going to deny it. Nor am I going to say that I’m not seriously tempted to jump out of this car and run away from you, but I love you. I love who you are now. The man you are now.”

So now, everything made sense. All the times that he tried to protect him and explain his behavior. Because the truth is, he actually made him that way. Consequently, his behavior and much noticed return to school wasn’t a revelation at all. Still I wasn’t expecting it to happen that fast. It was a matter of time then that something terrible like an accident occurred to him, though it didn’t hurt less when it happened. I don’t like sad endings, so I wasn’t prepared to lose him, or see his brother and now sister in law to suffer over him. It was very touching to see Nat so bad because of him. It reminded me that regardless of everything that happened, she really loved them both. Also, it was a very nice touch that her father finally appeared to check on him and to reassure his recovery.

The ending was almost perfect to me. A happy one, just the kind I love. They all stood together as a family, and the accident was the incident that made Nat and Alec’s relationship stronger and made Demetri rethink his addiction. I didn’t say perfect because I think they were so many things unsaid. Where were the brother’s parents? Why they chose Seaside over every other city in the country? What was so special about Nat? How about the life of her friends? What are the other interests of the main characters? What do they like to do? Hopefully many of them will be resolved in the following books. I am definitely going to read them very soon. I can’t wait for them!!


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