I’ve just finished reading The Opportunist and I have this huge feeling of uneasiness in my chest.
I just loved how I hated it. I’ve said it before and I said it again. I really like Tarryn Fisher. I love the way her books make me feel. Even if they aren’t pretty or with endings that I like, those are the ones that stay. The ones who make me feel alive.
“You can only give your heart away once, after that, everything else will chase your first love”
My head is totally a mess. I can’t stop thinking about Caleb and Olivia. All the things they’ve gone through, all the years passed and the totally unsatisfactory ending. I mean, how often can you find your true love to just let it go? I know you’re supposed to love more than you love yourself. But how could they declare their eternal love and just say goodbye the way they did? It doesn’t have any sense.
“I love you too, Olivia. More than I could ever love another soul. There hasn’t been a single hour in seven years that I haven’t thought of you.”
At the beginning, it didn’t hurt this much. But the more I think about it, the less happy I am. I really wish they’ve ended up together. That despise Olivia’s incapacity of expressing her feelings, and the terrible way that she acted instead, they would find each other in the end. The worst part is that they actually did find each other, but still chose separate paths.
I think is easier to blame Olivia’s actions, because we know her thoughts. The naughty and terrible ones. The same that maybe most of us would’ve even given them a though. Instead, I think about Caleb. I know Olivia played a big part in building the barriers of their relationship. Sharing and trusting are very important to make a relationship work. But Caleb was really hard on her. He knew exactly what she felt, yet still refused to fix it. Seriously, it’s not healthy to build a relationship based on the ghost of someone else, and even more if you acknowledge your love for her. It isn’t right! He supposed to be the logic one of the relationship. I just don’t get it. How could he return to Leah after they said those things? It’s not possible. She flew all the way to Rome just to see him. How couldn’t be the proof he needed to finish the show? If he loves Olivia, then what the hell is he doing with Leah? I don’t comprehend. I feel sad, and very confused.
“I’ll always want you, Olivia. It was never about not wanting you, it was about wanting you too much and you not wanting me back!”
Caleb Drake. Even though I didn’t understand all of his choices, I think I’m in love with him regardless. I love him as the boy he was and the man he became. I adore him in college. How he missed the shot just to be with her. How he proved her wrong, not being the jackass that she thought he was. The sexiest way he defended her in front of his parents. The way he loved her, unconditionally. And his attitude, the powerful alpha male he was. Gorgeous and irresistibly attractive. I can’t stop thinking about him as the perfect boyfriend either. He is unbelievable perfect. I don’t think is possible to erase him from my mind. He’s here to stay.
“Caleb had been my imperfection, with his slightly Americanized British accent, and the way he could play any sport and quote any philosopher. He was such a mix of class and jock, romance and jerk, it made me crazy.”
Truth be told, Caleb’s betrayal surprised me way more than Olivia’s revenge. I knew that the lie about Jessica’s abortion would leak somehow. And having sex with someone else makes sense with Caleb’s actions. But I never thought Caleb would react in that way. I never expected it from him. And if I was hurt, I cannot imagine what Olivia must have felt. So I can’t blame her. In fact, I am very fond of her, and I suffer for her. How she pushes all the good things away. Like Caleb Drake.
“You will remember every day for the rest of your life because I was the one and you threw me away.” And then he left.”
And lastly, Leah. I don’t like her at all. The truth is I think I hate her. She is the second one in Caleb’s life. Why does she think she had the rights over him? She doesn’t. Leah didn’t deserve to be saved. She should be in jail. I’m not exactly excited to start reading a whole book with her point of view. I only hope to find a happy ending on it for Caleb and Olivia. They deserve to be together. They must be together.
“Go be with your husband … before he realises that he’s still in love with me”